The EMU Emus

by Rodger Sherman on Sep 7, 2009 10:51 AM CDT Comment 1 comment

The grind of not being back at school yet means I'm posting twice on Labor Day. Deal with it.

As of right now, I know nothing about EMU, and you probably don't know much either. (I'll have a post on the school later today, a post on the team wednesday, and a post on how we should handle them thursday, so you'll soon learn.)

But what I do know is that the administration at EMU missed a golden opportunity. Their team name is the Eagle. Their team name SHOULD be the emu. Emus, as you may know, are six-and-a-half foot tall birds from Australia that can't fly, run 30 miles an hour, and considerably more interesting and original than the Eagle as a mascot.

The emu is clearly a sick practical joke played on the rest of the animal kingdom by evolution. (okay, christians, or an intelligent designer.) It looks like a haystack with legs, has a weird creepy head that's sort of covered with feathers but sort of isn't, and has puny little three-inch long wings hanging off the side just to prove that it's a bird.

Also, it's batsh*t insane.

In case you need more evidence that the emu is, indeed, batsh*t insane (you shouldn't, just look at that thing), here's a video of an emu eating another emu's poop.

You can say the eagle is fearsome, unlike the emu, but a quick search of youtube shows this isn't true: there's several dozen videos of emus staring people down and then chasing them, biting them, kicking them, or, but, most frequently, sticking their heads into peoples cars and refusing to leave.

So, long story short: the emu is a vicious, batsh*t insane creature that is considerably more interesting than the eagle. And whenever I see Eastern Michigan University written out as EMU, I think to myself that their mascot should be the Emu, and, yet, it still isn't.

This is why you read my blog.

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