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Must Hate Dogs

Everybody knows that dogs are man's best friend. 

Unless you play for Auburn. Because somewhere along the line, dogs had a conference, and decided that their sole purpose on earth was to take out Auburn's football team, one chunk at a time. 

So what did Auburn players do to anger the canine population of the planet earth? We can never fully be sure, although I'll assume it's something horrible, like feeding the war eagle a steady diet of three newborn golden retriever puppies a day.

Just let it be known that I'm bringing Amado, my brand new adorable little puppy, to Raymond James Stadium, and that if he accidentally gets loose and infects Ben Tate with canine tuberculosis, my b. 

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Because hip-hop references and Northwestern athletics go together like small academic institutions and gynormous athletic powerhouses.
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