Sherrick McManis Memorial Picks, Week 5

I'm beginning to hate these posts, but I'm not going to stop doing anything I do on my site when the Wildcats are 4-0. Capisce?

Let's get it.

Ohio State vs. Illinois

Weird, Ron Zook isn't even the least fireable coach in the Big Ten. What has this world come to? Anyway, this beatdown will be swift and merciless, which is great for those fans of Ohio State winning by lots.

Pick: Ohio State

Pick in a mascot fight to the death: I have been told by the person sitting next to me right now that I need to shut the hell up about how Buckeyes are nuts and cannot win fights. I'm sorry, but it's still true. Game, Illinois.

Michigan vs. Indiana

First off, Michigan still shouldn't be ranked. That's just ridiculous. Secondly, man, both of these defenses are so comically bad that I offer every one of my readers one of my limbs for every three-and-out in this game. Hold me to this offer. Let's just say that despite making this offer, I'm not working on acquiring a hacksaw any time soon.

Pick: Michigan

Pick in a mascot fight to the death: A tough matchup: a random dude from Indiana fighting against a wolverine. After all, wolverines have fangs and claws, and people from Indiana have nothing except for arms, legs, racecar tracks, and miles and miles of corn with an occasional white trash chain restaurant thrown in. Still, wolverines are tiny, and despite their ferocity, aren't people. Game, Indiana.

Wisconsin vs. Michigan State

Sometimes, I'm rational. Others I'm not. Either way, neither of these teams impresses me that much: Michigan State has literally won no impressive games, Wisconsin hung 70 on Austin Peay, but the bare victory over Arizona State is worrisome. I'm just picking Michigan State because it feels right, and the home field advantage sometimes means something.

Pick: MSU

Pick in a mascot fight to the death: Dude, badgers are related to weasels. Spartans are the biggest human ass-kickers since Steven Seagal, and even before Steven Seagal. Game, MSU

Penn State vs. Iowa

Iowa is to Penn State what Northwestern is to Iowa. They're not as good as the other team, but there's no chance in hell that they lose.

Pick: Iowa

Pick in a mascot fight to the death: Eye vs. large cat. Done.

 

Moving on. More posts later.

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