The Mystery of Snoop Dogg's Kyle Rowley Jersey

The most interesting photo in the history of mankind.

(This was originally meant to be a post on this site, but I couldn't think of anything to write for my column in the Daily this week, so, I repurposed this for the Daily - i.e., I cut off about 300 words and added a reference to NBA Street Vol. 2. But I figured I'd repost it here because I wanted to make sure all you punks read it. Although hit the link anyway.)

The reason I hadn't posted it on here yet is because I was struggling to find a suitable photo - there's a bunch of pics on NUsports.com, but those are all owned by NU, and there were some photos on Facebook, but that's creeper status. I ended up with this one that I believe is jacked from somebody's Facebook and cropped, but I'm not sure, so I'm sticking to it. - if you have a problem with it shoot me an email and I'll take it down. Obviously, the highlight of the photo is equally Snoop Dogg in a Kyle Rowley jersey and John Shurna's head appearing above Snoop/Kyle's shoulder.)

My two favorite things in the world are hip-hop and basketball. Luckily, they coincide a lot: there was Kobe's hilarious unreleased rap album, the awkward, one-sided Jay-Z and LeBron vs. DeShawn Stevenson and Soulja Boy rap feud, Ice Cube rapping about the Lakers beating the SuperSonics, and of course, Nelly and the St. Lunatics' appearances as playable characters in the video game NBA Street Vol. 2.

The most pivotal of these rap-basketball events is clearly when Snoop Dogg put on a Kyle Rowley Northwestern jersey Friday night. That was the most interesting thing ever to happen to anybody ever, and I have trillions upon trillions of questions about it.

Some people have tried to convince me it was a coincidence: they had a Kyle Rowley jersey lying around, and, oh, hey, Snoop, put this on at the end of the show because the crowd will love it! Things like that don't just happen. I refuse to believe that there's not a deeper, darker side to the story. Here are all of my questions:

First off, was that actually Rowley's old jersey? If they were just using jerseys they didn't need anymore, why didn't they give him a Kevin Coble jersey? Were they afraid that if they gave him Coble's jersey he would decide to leave to pursue his academics before his encore?

I think it's because Snoop Dogg hates Kevin Coble. As we can insinuate from his remarks about Eazy E 1993 diss track "F*ck wit Dre Day (And Everybody's Celebratin')" after Eazy had left NWA, Snoop hates quitters, and plans on putting his nuts on their tonsils.

So why the Rowley jersey? Clearly Snoop knows his NU hoops - so why the jersey of an underperforming center who just transferred to Saint Mary's?

I have several theories.

1. When Notorious B.I.G. died, his associate, P. Diddy, dedicated his hit single "I'll Be Missing You" to the recently departed rapper. With Rowley's departure to Saint Mary's, Snoop figured he would pay on-stage homage to the recently departed big man.

2. When Snoop put on his Kyle Rowley jersey, the song "California Gurls" was playing. Where is Saint Mary's located? California. Snoop was showing that he appreciates Kyle's decision to move to California. Snoop still stands by Rowley — even more now that he plays in the state he calls home. Despite the fact that he will no longer suit up for the Cats, Snoop knows that Rowley is unforgettable, and furthermore, undeniable.

3. Despite his size, Snoop is awful at basketball. He commits a lot of traveling violations and is terrible at rebounding. Hence the association with Rowley. (It's a lot more fun to make fun of people in writing when they don't go to your school anymore.)

4. Snoop's jersey was a statement of no confidence in the current state of affairs of Northwestern's basketball team. Before the show, he looked into his personal closet ­— where he stores all his Northwestern jerseys — and realized he didn't trust anybody on the team enough to come out in support of them. He wanted to hearken back to a simpler time, two years ago, when it appeared Rowley would be the program's saving grace at center.

Snoop doesn't act without reason. I'm not sure which one of my theories is correct. But I will not rest until I find out the answer.

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