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Around SBN: The Infuriating Jose Molina

Name of the Week: Iowa Edition

Congrats to Christian Kuntz, who was the easy pick last week with 48 votes. To all of you fans of pious genitalia, it's a good week.

But onto Iowa, which, sadly, graduates last year's winner, Pat Angerer - THE ONE WHO ANGERS PEOPLE BECAUSE HE IS AN ANGERER, who won a thrilling 40-39 jaunt over... well, someone who you will find out soon. Honorable mentions this week include Wyatt Suess, Colin Sleeper (SLEEPER PICK), Woody Orne (who would have been an easy pick if his name actually was pronounced "Woody Horny") and Kevonte Martin-Manley.

Names after the jump

Star-divide

No. 58, LeBron Daniel: Not actually that great a name. It's just here's the thing: LeBron is from Cleveland, and will forever be the second-most famous person from the Cleveland region whose first name is "LeBron" and last name is a first name. Unfortunate naming on his parent's part, considering this other guy named LeBron wouldn't become famous for another 15 years or so. Maybe he'll never be as rich, famous, or good at sports as the other LeBron, but on the plus side, the Hawkeyes (7-2) have a better record than the Heat (5-3).

Bron Bron is a backup defensive tackle and a junior. He's played every game, but only has five tackles - he did record a sack against Eastern Illinois, though.

#91, Broderick Binns: I only saw one of the Lord of the Rings movies, so I can neither confirm nor deny that there were black hobbits. But if there was one, his name woulda been Broderick Binns. I have no doubt in my mind that this is true and nothing will ever prevent me from thinking otherwise. Sick alliteration, bro. I mean, Bro-derick.

Binns is a junior defensive end who got displaced at the starting spot about halfway through the season by senior Christian Ballard. BHGP seems to think that he is the No. 1 reason NU might beat Iowa because he is apparently really bad, so there's that.

#27, Jewel Hampton: You could go one of two ways if you are a man whose name is Jewel: you could become a nonthreatening female pop singer, or you could spend your entire life moping about how you are a guy and your parents named you a name that isn't a name, but is, in fact, a thing you put on a necklace.

Jewel is a sophomore running back, but he got injured just two games into his 2010 campaign against Arizona with a torn ACL.

#23, Paki O'Meara: Oh, where to start with good ol' Paki. The Pak-man! Pakiao! Pak Attack! The Pakster!

First off, I cannot decipher Paki's origin as hard as I try. O'Meara is an Irish name, so maybe he's Irish? Wel, then there's "Paki", which is a name which could be Samoan but could also be space alien, robot, or puppy. Either way, his first name is Paki and there is no more I can say.

As a senior, Paki is buried deep on the depth chart at running back - in fact, he's, uh, not on the depth chart at running back - and has only had ten carries on the season, all in the year's first two games. But he does contribute on special teams, even busting out a 42-yard punt return for a touchdown after blocking a kick. (it took me a while to figure out this is what happened.)

#7, Marvin McNutt: The name McNutt is just such a silly last name. Maybe it's just me who thinks this, but if my name was Marvin McNutt, I'd walk around everywhere with a huge smile on my face. It's probably just me.

Heh. McNutt.

McNutt has gone from a quarterback to Ricky Stanzi's number one target: he leads the team with 588 yards receiving and is second in touchdowns and receptions, including a 52-yard game-winner last week.

Poll
Name of the week?
LeBron Daniel
5 votes
Broderick Binns
14 votes
Jewel Hampton
7 votes
Paki O'Meara
36 votes
Marvin McNutt
106 votes

168 votes | Poll has closed

Comment 11 comments  |  0 recs  | 

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Paki blocked a punt and returned it for a TD against Eastern Illinois

It never gets to be easy

by chitownhawkeye on Nov 10, 2010 6:49 PM CST reply actions  

The Paki-Stanzi

Also, !@#$ LeBron.

Transitive Rankings: It's not who you beat, it's who they beat. Post Week 10: Big Ten and all FBS

Reality has a little-known Northwestern bias

NU prez knows how to get PUMPED

by nuftw on Nov 10, 2010 7:30 PM CST reply actions  

The people love them some McNutt

I voted Binns, same as last year. I laughed at the black hobbit joke then, and it’s still funny a year later.

by Loretta8 on Nov 10, 2010 7:42 PM CST reply actions  

When McNutt catches him a long touchdown pass

he transforms to McJizz and then all Hawkeye fans enjoy a good smoke.

Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them to stay alive.

by Kluginator on Nov 11, 2010 8:49 AM CST up reply actions  

For what it's worth

Woody Orne’s name is pronounced with a strong “e” sound (think or-KNEE) so it rhymes with “horny”

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Nov 10, 2010 9:17 PM CST reply actions  

and why no love for DiBona?

has jNW abandoned its 7th grade sense of humor?

Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them to stay alive.

by Kluginator on Nov 11, 2010 8:54 AM CST up reply actions  

Hey now

Just because Rodger has apparently discovered maturity, don’t go thinking that the rest of us have, too.

by TDozer on Nov 11, 2010 10:45 AM CST up reply actions  

we voted for a guy named Kuntz last week

this DiBona individual must not have made the cut

by Loretta8 on Nov 11, 2010 11:02 AM CST up reply actions  

are you implying that DiBona is a stiff?

Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them to stay alive.

by Kluginator on Nov 11, 2010 4:31 PM CST up reply actions  

No...

…I think he’s implying that DiBona is not circumcised.

by Chadnudj on Nov 11, 2010 5:00 PM CST up reply actions  

He's just a Frosh.....

He’ll make the lost…. Big picture…..
Way to hold off and leave material for down the road….

by Ordinary Joe on Nov 11, 2010 8:04 PM CST up reply actions  

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