Chi Chi Ariguzo: Good Name, or Great Name?

by Rodger Sherman on Aug 8, 2010 9:43 PM CDT in Name of the Week

I received some disturbing news on Friday afternoon:

CNBC compiled their "best names in college football" teams, and although I certainly approve of the work done by NU grad Darren Rovell, as a supporter of all that's good in the world of names, I cannot stand for some of the name decisions made by the selecting committee.

First off, making name teams, but not actually making it positionally correct? Sloppy.

Secondly, some disturbing choices were made. Although I do approve of Minnesota Name of the Week winner Shady Salamon cracking the all-league first team, we had several Name of the Week runners-up - people who you, the voting populace of Sippin' on Purple, the finest voting committee known to man, didn't even deem to have the best name on their respective teams - cracking the lists. We have Iowa's Marvin McNutt and Collin Sleeper - McNutt lost a squeaker in the voting to Pat Angerer, Sleeper didn't even make the poll. We have Al-Terek McBurse from Purdue, who wasn't even in the running against Waynelle Gravesande. We have Wisconsin's Coddye Ring-Noonan, who lost to the melancholy heir, Prince Moody. And Illinois' Wisdom Onyegbule, who came up one short of beating Whitney Mercilus for Illinois' title. Not to mention Mikhail Marinovich, who didn't even make the voting list for Syracuse.

These are all minor outrages.

But to me, the biggest outrage is the naming of freshman Northwestern linebacker Chi Chi Ariguzo to the first team.

Don't get me wrong, Chi Chi Ariguzo is a good name. His last name is Ariguzo, which you don't see every day, and his first name is a derogatory term Jamaican people use for gay people, so there's that. Certainly an interesting name.

But, gents, we have a team with good names. Multiple good names. I'm not even talking about rookie guys whose names I've just seen for the first time, like Joe Cannon, Chance Carter, and Torin Dupper. I'm talking about Arby Fields. I'm talking about Adonis Smith. And of course, Stone Pinckney.

Sirs, by saying Chi Chi Ariguzo is the best name on our team, you're not only doing a disservice to your readers, and to Chi Chi, but to yourselves.

Signed,

Rodger Sherman, Supporter of Excellence in the Field of Naming.

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I have an MS in Naming (McCormick 2007)

(Yeah, it’s a science, not an art)

Last year I would have to go with Sherrick McManis as Northwestern’s #1 name (it’s just so fun to say in a PA announcer’s voice – “SHERRICK MCMANIS with the DIVING interception! FIRST AND TEN NORTHWESTERN”). But this year, I agree with Mr. Rovell. Chi Chi Ariguzo has it locked up with a name that sounds laid back and breezy but really is a cover for a dark and stormy lost soul who just wants to lay out running backs. Well, I’m just assuming about the angst and anger, but it doesn’t seem like too much of a stretch.

by bangnblame on Aug 9, 2010 10:46 AM CDT reply actions

i like your style

never realized how troubled chi chi was. however, i prefer people who are up front with their deep dark secrets, like whitney mercilus, who doesn’t try to hide that his habits include merciless killing with his name.

by Rodger Sherman on Aug 9, 2010 5:47 PM CDT up reply actions

Chi Chi's one advantage?

If Chi Chi becomes a starter and makes some excellent play, we could see the “Come on Chi Chi – the natives are getting restless” clip from Swingers played (a la Eric Peterman and the Peterman Reality Bus Tour from Seinfeld)

by Chadnudj on Aug 9, 2010 1:31 PM CDT reply actions

wait

did the peterman reality bus thing actually happen? i didn’t hear anything like that in the student section.

by Rodger Sherman on Aug 9, 2010 5:47 PM CDT up reply actions

Yes it did...

…a couple times Eric’s senior year, when he’d score a touchdown, we’d play a video on the jumbotron of the clip (it’s Jerry and George hearing a honk, going to the window and looking down, and seeing Kramer in a school bus leaning out the window, who then says “Jerry, look! It’s the Peterman Reality Tour!” or something like that….)

It was, to put it bluntly, AWESOME.

(Now? Last year we did a clip coming out of halftime into the 2nd half kickoff from Cheers, where the whole bar starts doing We Will Rock You….which was pretty cool itself, I thought….)

by Chadnudj on Aug 10, 2010 7:01 AM CDT up reply actions