Name of the Week: Minnesota Edition

You can't find that? I think you need a Google Map. 

Northwestern only needs one more win to be bowl eligible, but more importantly, people who play college football have interesting names, and that is a trend continued by football players at the University of Minnesota. Congrats to two-time Rice champ Brent Hotard, whose name was very clearly mentioned over the PA system on several punt coverages Saturday, which was awexome. 

But moving on. It's not that Minnesota doesn't have more than five good names, it's just that I feel Minnesota has six names that I feel are miles ahead of the rest of their names. These names don't deserve the association of lesser names watering down the concept of great naming. Trust me. Hit the jump.

No. 80, Xzavian Brandon: I'm a sucker for X to the Z. Especially the way he rearranges the whole game with his raucous sound and the fact that I can't even speak my own name until he comes around. Until my death, I'm bangladesh. In other news, I've decided to put a name of the week poll in this week's name of the week poll, because we heard you like to have names of the week in your name of the week. 

Xzavian is a junior wide receiver who hasn't played since his true freshman year due to injuries and stuff.

No. 77, Foster Bush: First names you can have when your last name is "Bush" and the only funny part is that your last name is "Bush": George, Michael, Reggie, Dave. Names that sound creepy and hilarious when your last name is "Bush": Foster. 

Foster is a freshman offensive lineman who, well, to be honest, Minnesota doesn't post a depth chart and/or game-by-game participation reports on their website, so he may or may not be playing, but I'd guess he's taking the year off to foster bush redshirt. 

No. 55, Thieren Cockran: "Thieren" isn't a real first name, and "Cockran" is a way to spell "Cochran" differently except with cock.

Thieren is a freshman defensive end who ain't be playing cuz he's redshirting.

No. 2, Ge'Shun Harris: "It's a boy, Mrs. Harris! Do you know what you're going to name him?"

"Yes! He's going to be named... named... (sneezes)"

"Ge'Shun it is!" (files birth certificate)

Seriously, that's the only way I can comprehend "Ge'Shun", especially the apostrophe.

Ge'Shun is a junior JuCo transfer playing wide receiver. He's played five games, but only has one catch, a 28-yarder against Michigan State.

No. 6, Da'Jon McKnight: DA JON. He is also a mustard.

Saying Da'Jon is the Gophers' best wide receiver is kind of understating it. The senior has 45 catches for 662 yards and four touchdowns. Nobody else has more than 14, 170, or two. So yeah. He's kind of a go-to target.

No. 29, Shady Salamon. Quote from last year: "This is a ridiculously good name. First off, the guys first name is "Shady". Shady. That's his government name, as far as I can tell. Shady, like, when there's, like, trees over you, or when you're skeezy and people don't trust you. And Salamon sounds like Solomon, which is a first name old timey people had. Therefore, when you combine "Shady" and "Salamon", you get a name that sounds like it belongs to, like, a Mormon drug dealer or a wild west brothel owner. And that's awesome."

They call him Slim Shady, and he's a defensive back, defensive back. The senior swapped from running back two years ago, and he plays a bit, but not that much, with just ten tackles in eight games.