America Less Days Until America Season: No. 59, Pat "America" Hickey

TALLADEGA, AL - MAY 06: A crew member for Brad Keselowski, driver of the #2 Miller Lite Dodge, celebrates their win with an American flag during the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Aaron's 499 at Talladega Superspeedway on May 6, 2012 in Talladega, Alabama. (Photo by Tyler Barrick/Getty Images)

In lieu of commentary, I'm just going to post video of our national anthem seven times:

No. 59, Pat Hickey, junior, long snapper

Who he be: Pat is Northwestern's long-snapper, and by virtue of the fact that his uniform number works out to be the amount of days before Northwestern's opener that is July 4th - don't check my grammar, it's okay, this is America, we're free to do whatever we want - he is Northwestern's most American player. He was a backup long snapper, only handling field goals, at the beginning of his redshirt freshman year, but was taken out of that role, but last year, he was the all-time long snapper and didn't appear to have any problems. As the most American football player at Northwestern, he was given the opportunity to kill Osama bin Laden by long-snapping a ball at his head with lethal force, but he declined out of respect to our troops.

Happy Independence Day, from Sippin' on Purple: Remember, if you mix red, white, and blue together, you get purple. Is that true? Maybe, maybe not, but I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA.

Looking forward: Hickey should be the long snapper this year. You probably didn't notice Hickey much last year because he didn't have any notable screw-ups that I can recall, which is pretty much the best thing you can say about a long snapper, so here's to another year of that.

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