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Stop Moping! Its time to hate on Nebraska and reclaim the magic of 2011

Alright everyone, lets get out of our funk. This october has been ghoulishly bad, but on saturday it's time to start November with a victory over the Nebraska Cornhuskers!

Ah, good old Nebraska, the first domino to fall in the conference realignment-a-palooza thanks to our benevolent dictator Jim Delany.

Hey Morty, can you and your counterparts please put Delany on a leash? 12 was perfect, but 14 is enough! We have enough TV money now.

Why should we stop sulking and get up for Nebraska? Because they took over our stadium like no one else has and drowned out our team and our fans. Screw that! We must be avenged!

Also, remember the Alamo Bowl from 2000. Ye gods, that was a curbstomping of all curbstompings. That's another thing to avenge.

I'm not an eloquent writer like some people, but I have written about Nebraska before.

I compared their fans to the Children of the Corn, their coach to a maniac, and turned their inflatable mascot into a murderous monster. That felt good.

Also, Chad wrote that everything has gone downhill in the Big Ten since Nebraska joined. Can't argue with that.

However, our friends from Lincoln did not let those articles go unanswered. Corn Nation's resident scientist Salt Creek & Stadium countered my article by reviving Air Willie and giving every other team in the Big Ten an inflatable mascot.

Also, he had the unmitigated gall to suggest that we play for the right to call ourselves "NU" for something called the schoolbook trophy.

He really needs to ventilate his lab. I think those noxious fumes are addling his brain.

Here was my response, and trust me, it was epic.

Seriously, you guys need to shake off the last vestiges of the Big 8 and learn to accept the right way to spell your name. It’s almost like a disease, venerable state flagship institutions of higher learning like the University of Colorado, the University of Oklahoma, the University of Nebraska, the University of Kansas and the University of Missouri all mixing up the first letters of the abbreviations in their names. Why on earth do those five schools mix it up? Is there something in the water? Its not like those schools have a reason to put the university name ahead of the word "university" like Purdue University, Oklahoma State University, Ohio State University, Penn State University, you guys get the idea…
I mean, you guys calling yourselves NU sounds as ridiculous (i know and respect the history you guys have) as our nonexistent friends from west lafayette calling their school the University of Purdue and having their abbreviation "UP"

/farts in your general direction

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