I said I'd do it.
Here is the analysis literally more than one of you asked for.
Obviously, Pat Fitzgerald is Ash Ketchum. A proven battle manager, he knows each of his team members' strengths and weaknesses, and when to sub out one member for another depending on the weaknesses of the opposing team in an effort to ensure that each play is super effective. Overall, he is more interested in the growth of his team members as individuals than winning, which has led to some crushing defeats in the past. However, his team loves him for this, and would gladly fight on his behalf.
Kain Colter is the face of the 'Cats team, so Pikachu seemed like a natural fit. Besides his blinding agility and quickness, Colterchu is incredibly versatile, able to throw bolts to receivers downfield as easily as he can swing around and slam through a few LBs for a gain of 15.
I mean this one is pretty self-explanatory. Jeff Budzien is Hitmonlee. He kicks a lot and is damn good at it.
Dan Vitaleveler is a juggernaut on the field, seemingly way too big to have the speed that he does. As a superback, he can often roll out (see what I did there) right before the snap, catch the ball in traffic, and explode for a good gain after the catch as he tosses the people in coverage off him. Seismically. (nailed it)
Chi Chi Articuno is a legendary defender, quick, and merciless. Half the time, a wideout won't even detect him jumping a route, frozen in place as Chi Chi flies in for the pick and scampers down the field with ice in his veins for 6 more.
ToJonyta is just, so fast, you guys. Fast like a fire horse.
For Venric Markanine, allow me to defer to the bank of knowledge we know as the Pokedex, as it sums up my feelings better than I could: "[Markanine] has been admired since the past for its beauty. It runs agilely as if on wings."
Praterkarp has obviously not lived up to his full potential yet, and hopefully we get to see a true evolution in his skills as the season goes on, but that will all depend on how much in game EXP he gets.
You'll notice this is a pretty balanced team, with no crippling overall weaknesses, and the ability to shift and meet largely any challenge it's faced with. The question, however, remains: is it the best team, like no team ever was?
oh my god help me why did I do this